How body confident are you?

Penguin

Well-known member
Just musing after being on the beach this afternoon. There were people of all shapes, sizes, colours (from milk white to tanned to POC) who were all having a great time pootling about with their kids etc etc.

Most of them seemed to have absolutely no care about what they looked like - some looked fantastic like models, some looked fit and toned, some heavier but still great. Some of them didnt look so great, but they didnt care and just got on with it.

It made me think: I cover up all the time, partly for sun/skin reasons, but also because I am pasty white and rather portly, especially around the middle.

Why can't I just think fuck it and get the cozzie on, who cares? After all, none of these people know me... (well maybe the fellow dogwalkers do!)

Anyone else feel the same?
 

Hotsoapywater

Well-known member
Just musing after being on the beach this afternoon. There were people of all shapes, sizes, colours (from milk white to tanned to POC) who were all having a great time pootling about with their kids etc etc.

Most of them seemed to have absolutely no care about what they looked like - some looked fantastic like models, some looked fit and toned, some heavier but still great. Some of them didnt look so great, but they didnt care and just got on with it.

It made me think: I cover up all the time, partly for sun/skin reasons, but also because I am pasty white and rather portly, especially around the middle.

Why can't I just think fuck it and get the cozzie on, who cares? After all, none of these people know me... (well maybe the fellow dogwalkers do!)

Anyone else feel the same?
When it comes down to it, does anybody truly care ?

I think particularly at this time, after the lockdown, people are probably more carefree. But, body consciousness can be really debilitating. I think most women at aome point have been consciois over some part of their body.

I'm more conscious now than I ever was when I was younger. But, i think in style these days. Would it pass the Eagle eye of my mother. Who was very stylish at all times. I think style comes in many shapes and sizes.
 

RomaniEuntDomus

Well-known member
I'm a very normal, (shorter than) average, size 12-14 who feels less than confident in swimsuits these days. Part of me thinks I need to lose about a stone or so, part of me thinks it's less than realistic to expect to be a size 8-10 at 52 unless you're Davina McCall or someone and/or prepared to live on brown rice and salad/run annual marathons for the rest of your life.
 

LadyMuck

Well-known member
Im pregnant at the moment, and feel the most body confident I have ever been. I am usually a size 10, but I’m a short arse so could do with being a bit smaller. I would always wear a cover up. Now, all the spare flab at my waist has been sucked forward - it’s amazing 😆 I feel like I could wear a bikini with no drama at all.
 

Beach

Well-known member
Just musing after being on the beach this afternoon. There were people of all shapes, sizes, colours (from milk white to tanned to POC) who were all having a great time pootling about with their kids etc etc.

Most of them seemed to have absolutely no care about what they looked like - some looked fantastic like models, some looked fit and toned, some heavier but still great. Some of them didnt look so great, but they didnt care and just got on with it.

It made me think: I cover up all the time, partly for sun/skin reasons, but also because I am pasty white and rather portly, especially around the middle.

Why can't I just think fuck it and get the cozzie on, who cares? After all, none of these people know me... (well maybe the fellow dogwalkers do!)

Anyone else feel the same?
I completely get how you feel. I see women in bikinis and wish I felt confident enough to wear one. Middle aged spread is a killer...and my boobs, which were always large, look like something out of a benny hill matron sketch. Always cover up now.
 

MrsBrown

Well-known member
I am confident that I should stay in a skirt I can lift as I dip toes in the water and t-shirt at the beach as I don't swim in the sea and getting a tan is of no interest to me.
 

ThistledownHair

Well-known member
I’ve never been confident enough to wear a bikini - even when I was very slim as a teen/young adult. I don’t wear swimsuits at all now as I have a c-section shelf and hate the way the clingy material highlights it.
 

CharlieAlphaWhiskey

Well-known member
I've come to care less about what other people think as I've got older, ie I don't feel it necessary to hide behind a full face of make up nowadays, but I have little body confidence, mostly due to needing to lose some weight. I hate most of myself and would struggle to answer if someone asked me what my best feature was. I hate going shopping for clothes as I don't feel anything suits me. im sure if I lost weight and toned up I would feel so much better. I just need to find some motivation to do so.
 

Fin

Well-known member
I honestly do not give a flying fig, I always wear bikinis on holiday and I don't exactly have a supermodel body, far from it, the only time I wear a swimsuit is if we are going over the side of a boat. On one holiday we were sitting around the pool and we saw mainly the same people most days. There was an older lady who was quite large who wore a string bikini and she just exuded confidence, she looked fantastic.
 

Fortress24

Well-known member
I go through stages....for the past maybe 4 years, I've bern more body confident. Come to terms with the fact I have big boobs and big hips so my middle i was never going to be skinny (I mean maybe i could be if I wanted to dedicate my life to it, but I don't 🤣) I'm was a size 14 and 5'7. However.... lockdown has made me a size 16, I've put on nearly 2 stone and I'm not feeling body confident anymore. It's the fact that some of my skirts and dresses feel either so tight or physically won't do up npw that makes me very self concious 😧
 

Chattypickle

Well-known member
I had a bit of a revelation in Australia. Another family were really big, the kind of big that limits your mobility and looks uncomfortable. They didn’t seem to care who saw what they ate, and hung around at the pool. I on the other hand was inhibited by being seen to eat, and slunk to the pool in a sarong in the hope no one would notice I was fat 14/16.


I decided to get over it, got a bikinI, and proceeded to enjoy myself. When I got back to the U.K. and was showing photos, my mother decided to edit them for me, as she ’knew’ I wouldn’t want anyone seeing them. Instant shame again.

thanks, mum.
 

Captain Worfs

Well-known member
I’m fine with my current mumsy body as no time and strength to exercise (young toddler, 4 hours sleep a night, very demanding job), but I wouldn’t parade it in tiny bikini, I’d choose a flattering cut in the correct size.

Everyone should enjoy the beach without worry, but some thought can be put into maximising aesthetics I think. It can even boost body confidence.
 

Moogle

Well-known member
Everyone should enjoy the beach without worry, but some thought can be put into maximising aesthetics I think. It can even boost body confidence.
I havent been to the beach in some years, in fact I was probably 15 or so the last time I wore a swimsuit, and I was very fat (have been my entire life, I struggle to shift the weight, always have).

These days I just hide away at events, or make sure that I'm wearing something that at least covers the too huge boobs I cannot find a properly fitting bra for anymore, the massive belly, and for unknown reasons, my disproportionately small arse.
 

Nelly

Well-known member
I am more so now, but still feel funny about the top of my thighs when we go to a beach, I will wear a swim suit with a sarong, I am also a short arse size 12, I can hide my stomach and boobs in a swim suit but not the tops of my flabby thighs, hence the sarong.

I love my going out clothes, just feel normal now.

When I was fat, I hated going out, felt like everyone was judging me, I would over hear fat comments, mostly from elderly ladies or young children, these made me feel awful, so what did I do when I got home, I ate all the wrong food to make me feel good.

I could have willingly knocked the old ladies out and then stuffed the children in the freezer and shut it tight for making me like I wanted to curl up and die.
 
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Penguin

Penguin

Well-known member
I think its the stomach that bothers me most, that and the fact that as I dont tan I shine like a fucking belisha beacon! Can live with the boobs, in fact would probably have to describe them as my best feature if upholstered correctly. I used to have an arse, but that appears to have moved itself round to my stomach.

I could give up drink I suppose and be thin and pasty and wobbly, but then where's the fun in that?
 

Hotsoapywater

Well-known member
I had a bit of a revelation in Australia. Another family were really big, the kind of big that limits your mobility and looks uncomfortable. They didn’t seem to care who saw what they ate, and hung around at the pool. I on the other hand was inhibited by being seen to eat, and slunk to the pool in a sarong in the hope no one would notice I was fat 14/16.


I decided to get over it, got a bikinI, and proceeded to enjoy myself. When I got back to the U.K. and was showing photos, my mother decided to edit them for me, as she ’knew’ I wouldn’t want anyone seeing them. Instant shame again.

thanks, mum.
14/16 is nowhere near fat.
 

Seeitnowsorted

Well-known member
Last year on holiday to a country where larger is seen as lovelier the confidence of those ladies was a lesson to learn - own it and be proud. I felt silly for being as self conscious as I had been, they really showed me that confidence and happiness is what counts, not body shape or size, and those ladies were lovely in every sense of the word. If anyone has issues with my stomach and thighs When I’m on the beach then let it be their problem
 

Eggsontoast

Well-known member
I have a lot of issues with this unfortunately as I have an ED, so my perceptions change daily of whether or not I am acceptable to myself. I cant imagine ever being body confident, but my body image (of myself, not others, so I don't look at other people and see them as fat) is warped. I actually don't give a shit of what other people think, my greatest enemy is myself although I am vulnerable to others when they make comments such as 'you look well' etc etc. I feel quite strongly people shouldn't make unsolicited comments about the people's appearances, because you can never tell what buttons you might be unwittingly pressing.
 

Villanelle

Well-known member
As I've got older the less fucks I give, don't do swimsuits, always a bikini. If you don't like what you see then don't look 🤷‍♀️
Ironically, when I was younger with a good body (pre-kids) I was more concerned with how I looked. Now I tend to focus less on the bits I don't like & notice the parts that look bloody awesome...
 
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