The mental health and wellbeing thread

Iwastooold

Well-known member
I think I am incredibly lucky not to suffer as I see so many people doing, and I know its not the same thing at all, but whenever I feel really down, or panicky, or overwhelmed, I walk.
I walk on the beach, in the light, in the dark, sun or rain, it doesnt matter - I always feel reinvigorated and able to cope better afterwards.
 

Mishmash

Well-known member
I’m on two med, for depression and for anxiety. And I think I will stay on them for good, this time.
im trying to do a lot of walking, and I listen to podcasts or audiobooks, to stop my mind wandering into places that only upset me. Yes, it’s avoidance, but I can’t change the past and this is the best way for me to move on in a positive direction.
 

Daisychain

Active member
I’m on two med, for depression and for anxiety. And I think I will stay on them for good, this time.
im trying to do a lot of walking, and I listen to podcasts or audiobooks, to stop my mind wandering into places that only upset me. Yes, it’s avoidance, but I can’t change the past and this is the best way for me to move on in a positive direction.
That's a very positive attitude to have. You can't change the past but you can change your response to things that happened. Avoidance is a very under-valued thing. There seems to be a constant need nowadays to have to delve into the depths, analyse, understand absolutely everything. That can be helpful, but then again, it can be overdone, and actually what's needed is to stick it all into a box and throw away the key (metaphorically speaking).

I've done that for a few unresolvable things and relationships that proved damaging to me, and it has been a massive help. Yoga has taught me to have a mental spring clean to get rid of that which does not serve you, to make space for new lovely things.
 

Iwastooold

Well-known member
That's a very positive attitude to have. You can't change the past but you can change your response to things that happened. Avoidance is a very under-valued thing. There seems to be a constant need nowadays to have to delve into the depths, analyse, understand absolutely everything. That can be helpful, but then again, it can be overdone, and actually what's needed is to stick it all into a box and throw away the key (metaphorically speaking).

I've done that for a few unresolvable things and relationships that proved damaging to me, and it has been a massive help. Yoga has taught me to have a mental spring clean to get rid of that which does not serve you, to make space for new lovely things.
Yes, the box method worked for me. When I was working in a high stress job and could not stop thinking about things, I would, ( in my mind), take the problem, kick it away in the box and not get it back out until next morning.
Have not done that for years now, but it worked wonderfully when I needed it to.
 

NotSorry

Well-known member
That's a very positive attitude to have. You can't change the past but you can change your response to things that happened. Avoidance is a very under-valued thing. There seems to be a constant need nowadays to have to delve into the depths, analyse, understand absolutely everything. That can be helpful, but then again, it can be overdone, and actually what's needed is to stick it all into a box and throw away the key (metaphorically speaking).

I've done that for a few unresolvable things and relationships that proved damaging to me, and it has been a massive help. Yoga has taught me to have a mental spring clean to get rid of that which does not serve you, to make space for new lovely things.
Absolutely agree - I’m an NLP practitioner and one thing I was taught is “it’s enough that the person has been through it once, don’t make them relive it”
 

Oldcoot

Well-known member
I'm another who doesn't agree with counselling.

In my head there are boxes, but these are for nice things, all in different rooms. At the very back of the furthest room is a pile of bodies (I've not killed them, but they're not alive either, just, not working) of all the people who have upset me or hurt me. I call it the shit heap. If someone upsets me, on the shit heap they go and it's easier to forget them. One may reanimate and invade one of my rooms, but they are swiftly carried off and thrown back on the shit heap again.

It's my daft way of dealing with horrible memories, the problems they've caused I can usually put a positive spin on, as they have, after all taught me a lesson, even if it just to be more careful with who I trust. All these lessons make me into a stronger more independent and capable person, and some people may need throwing on the shit heap more than others, but that's ok. I can do that.

Like I said, it's my own daft way if dealing with it, it may help someone else, it may not. They are more than welcome to try.
 

NotSorry

Well-known member
It's my daft way of dealing with horrible memories, the problems they've caused I can usually put a positive spin on, as they have, after all taught me a lesson, even if it just to be more careful with who I trust. All these lessons make me into a stronger more independent and capable person
In NLP we call that “reframing” sounds like you’ve done well.

One of my mantra’s is “another lesson learned” when someone has shit on me or taken advantage of my good nature - I never go down that path again
 

TattieScone

Well-known member
I think although it is good to talk about things with people you trust at the start and go through the processes of dealing with what has happened and ultimately learning from it I also agree that years later going over and over it and reliving it all again can be a bit like picking at an old wound and never giving it a chance to heal.

For me "the scar" is still there inside and probably always will be but it reminds me what happened and how that has shaped me as a person and although I can't change what happened I can try to leave it in the past where it belongs rather than constantly going over old ground and focus on enjoying the present and future instead which I know is much easier said than done.
 
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CakeO'clock

Well-known member
I'm struggling with my anxiety (I have GAD) and I really struggle with the thought of making a mistake at work. COVID hasn't helped with that as I've been working outside of my comfort zone and having to go a bit off piste, none of that suits my personality or indeed coping with GAD.

I have been on medication in the past but it didn't really work, plus the 6 monthly appointments were difficult to keep with two kids (my husband doesn't know about the GAD diagnosis or medication). So here I am, unmedicated and working hard to keep my logical brain in the fore. I'm okay and can keep my anxiety in check most of the time but working is where the triggers are and I've got plenty of working years left in me. On the plus side, the more I expose myself to uncomfortable situations, the better I get at managing the anxiety!!

I definitely do need to box things up mentally. I ruminate and catastrophise, so anything outside of a box is a bit of an issue for me 😁 I'm using the method of thinking "will this matter in 5 years?" If the answer is no then I can think about it for 5 mins only, then try to box it up. It does help me to see the bigger picture and remember that so many things seem big in the moment, but life moves on.
 
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Whisper

Well-known member
I'm struggling with my anxiety (I have GAD) and I really struggle with the thought of making a mistake at work. COVID hasn't helped with that as I've been working outside of my comfort zone and having to go a bit off piste, none of that suits my personality or indeed coping with GAD.

I have been on medication in the past but it didn't really work, plus the 6 monthly appointments were difficult to keep with two kids (my husband doesn't know about the GAD diagnosis or medication). So here I am, unmedicated and working hard to keep my logical brain in the fore. I'm okay and can keep my anxiety in check most of the time but working is where the triggers are and I've got plenty of working years left in me. On the plus side, the more I expose myself to uncomfortable situations, the better I get at managing the anxiety!!

I definitely do need to box things up mentally. I ruminate and catastrophise, so anything outside of a box is a bit of an issue for me 😁 I'm using the method of thinking "will this matter in 5 years?" If the answer is no then I can think about it for 5 mins only, then try to box it up. It does help me to see the bigger picture and remember that so many things seem big in the moment, but life moves on.
I hear you. I’m in my 50s and have spent my whole life doing “scenarios ” and “what ifs”. And work by far was the biggest stressor. It was so exhausting.
It reached a point about 3 years ago when I realised I couldn’t continue. There had been some changes at work which made everything very difficult and I left my job without another one to go to. Something changed in me and when I started a new job, I decided I wasn’t going to take on the anxiety of things I had no control over. I used a number of techniques- guided meditation at night to go to sleep, yoga, breathing exercises during the day when I could feel the stress levels rising, self care to make sure I took my full unpaid lunch break, actively deciding what was and wasn’t worth worrying about and shutting down the thoughts if they started ( that bit is really hard to do).
I realised that a lot of the time I was taking on concerns I had about management decisions which really were not my concerns at all. Of course we can all see better ways to do things, especially those that directly affect us. I still suggest things but then step back and leave it there. For example if too much work is booked in, there are only so many hours in the day in which to do it, so I will ask which task they would like completed. Thankfully my new job has acknowledged the need for good mental health awareness.
I just wish I could go back and tell all this to my 20 something self!
 

NotSorry

Well-known member
When I first had anxiety I didn’t even realise it was anxiety. It all came to a head when I made myself physically ill over an event I had no control over (it all went a bit wrong and I was helping to try and sort it, but I didn’t cause it to go wrong).

I’d previously seen a hypnotherapist when I had cancer and she’d helped me through some issues surrounding that so I went back to her and she helped me through the anxiety problems. It made me realise that I’d actually been suffering from anxiety since being a small child but it only manifested itself with events - so if life was going ok, I was ok. (Hope I’m making sense). Anyway, talking therapy and meditation was the way to go for me. It still rears its ugly head at times, but I’m better at heading it off before it starts these days.
 

Cinders

Well-known member
This thread is really helping me. There is a lot of wisdom on it already and it’s a young thread.

I have lots of little mantras. Keep it Simple, wherever possible. And, This Too Will Soon Pass. Also, Be Your Own Best Friend. Plus, You Can Cope, You Always Do. Somebody wise upthread said about avoidance. Yes, this is underrated. I am a fixer, or clarifyer - all it gets you is grief, so these days I just keep saying Keep it Simple Stupid (or KISS). I bite my lip a lot now, mind my own business, stop playing rescuer, and have stopped trying to control situations I can see going wrong. I no longer see it as my business, my business is staying as well as can be, I don’t need troubles or other people’s burdens. I hope that doesn’t sound heartless, I am tired of getting dragged into others dramas, particularly as it is often never reciprocated at my times of need.
 
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