The mental health and wellbeing thread

DinosaurChickens

Well-known member
Sorry all not been about lately, my brother got hit by a digger on site and it broke his leg in three places, badly enough to require surgery to pin it all back together. Have been trying to organize getting him some help as he lives alone and we don't have parents of the sort that can be relied on for help.
Will be back once all that is under control and brother is managing properly. xx DC
 

DinosaurChickens

Well-known member
Sorry all not been about lately, my brother got hit by a digger on site and it broke his leg in three places, badly enough to require surgery to pin it all back together. Have been trying to organize getting him some help as he lives alone and we don't have parents of the sort that can be relied on for help.
Will be back once all that is under control and brother is managing properly. xx DC
Brother is at home and OK now, he has a bunch of metal club friends who he goes to gigs with in none Covid times doing shopping for him and his boss has furloughed him on full pay whilst he gets back on on his feet. He had covid in August so at least he was able to do hospital and surgery without worrying about that too much.
Brother is going to be OK, he sounds chipper and is happy to have discovered that his local bloke friends are not just friends for gigs and beer.
They have sorted out a knock and drop off rota for groceries and doorway man chat.
I'm so relieved, I was so worried about him.
Here's a Sister cheers for the good men in our communities and society !!!!
 

DinosaurChickens

Well-known member
There's something I really need to say and want to say to everyone on this site about mental health.

Mental Health problems are a very misunderstood area of our health as honest and hard trying people.
The reason being that degrees and areas of 'function' in mental health can be misunderstood by others for fully optimal mental health and likewise the failure of SOME function can be misunderstood as being a complete fail of all function.

Neither of these helps mental health recovery.

It doesn't work like that, any more than having a broken leg means you cannot move your head or have a conversation. Or that moving your head and having a conversation means your leg is not broken.

Having an AREA of very poor or broken function in your mental health can be as debilitating to a normal human life as having a broken leg.

But just as having a broken leg does not affect your ability to speak or use your arms, having a broken area of mental health does not affect your other areas of capacity whist it STILL can and does affect your ability to function normally or optimally.

THIS IS IMPORTANT.

A broken leg or a spinal break does not stop someone having an opinion, wisdom, life experience, or a desire to share strengths and abilities with others.

Likewise a break somewhere in mental health does not render a person dysfunctional beyond the specific areas that that specific break affects.

Thus a person with learning disability who is none verbal still feels, thinks, understands and experiences, they just cannot articulate that to the extent that other people believe they are in fact IN THERE AND PRESENT.

A person with crippling chronic depression who cannot function may still be a genius in their field of expertise and ability. They may still be designing solutions to energy problems or creating new drugs to cure diseases, they might also be emptying bins or successfully raising children who have no idea that they are contemplating suicide daily.

A Mother with post natal depression still loves and wants the best for her children, she is more likely to be a threat to herself than to the children she will do everything to protect from her 'ill feeling'.

An autist might be struggling with multiple levels of information input daily and spending so much time trying to filter and understand what to none autists is 'unspoken' code that the autist fails to see or meet the needs of the people around them fully. That does not make an autist a failure of mindfulness or kindness or understanding, it makes them the person with the broken leg or deafness who cannot meet your immediate cry for help or need due to a disability that prevents instant cognition or need being met.

Specific mental health issues are debilitating to us all, but just like a leg break or a physical ailment they are not things that obliterate our entire being or our other skills. Mental health issues just like broken legs, affect a specific range of ability, not EVERYTHING.

We all need to remember this for ourselves as people who will be or are struggling with some mental health issue and we need to remember this when we are interacting and friending with people who are dealing with their own mental health stuff.

At the end of the day we would not expect ourselves to run downstairs to aid a friend or loved one instantly when we have a broken leg. But by the same measure we do not expect anyone else to do that with a broken leg either.

We also do not assume that a broken leg prevents someone from having absolute ability to use and be respected for having other healthy and strong parts of their body and mind still functional and able.

This is the same for mental health illness or problems, both for us who have them and for others who we encounter who have them.
We all need to be better about accepting that a mental health break is on a par with a broken bone in life, they happen and they affect specific areas of life but not ALL function..
We also need to be better about understanding that a mental health break is by no means 'person ending' either for us or for others, any more than a broken leg is or should be.

Mental health issues are as specific and debilitating to an individuals life as a broken leg is. Working with the people who mend mental health is as important as working with an orthopedic consultant for knees or backs or wrists.

Finding where your mental health issue is, what it consists of, where it inflicts damage on your life and finding the right person to help you tackle it and them being as trustworthy as a wrist surgeon, matters.

Don't treat your own or anyone else's mental health like it is less specific, more widely damaging or less treatable than a broken pelvis is.
It isn't, it is just that the money and the people who do the fixing and understanding are on way less pay and have way less financial resources than the surgeons who fix broken legs.

Your brain is the hard drive of your life. Why imagine that it doesn't deserve the same level of supportive health care as a kidney or a heart or a tibia?
 
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Seenitnowsorted

Well-known member
I can feel myself crashing today. Trying to hide it and ‘fake it til I make it’ but imposter syndrome has struck again. I’m the eldest and least qualified in the team although have been there the longest. Trying to train a new starter up but having to do it remotely from home as this week I have to SI as I’m back for an out patient procedure on Friday, but I can’t stop thinking that they are looking to replace me and that I am shit at my job. We have struggled to get staff and now we have I can’t help thinking that they will want shut of me.
 

Buzzcat

Well-known member
I can feel myself crashing today. Trying to hide it and ‘fake it til I make it’ but imposter syndrome has struck again. I’m the eldest and least qualified in the team although have been there the longest. Trying to train a new starter up but having to do it remotely from home as this week I have to SI as I’m back for an out patient procedure on Friday, but I can’t stop thinking that they are looking to replace me and that I am shit at my job. We have struggled to get staff and now we have I can’t help thinking that they will want shut of me.
1) If you have been there the longest you are not shit at your job. That is fact. They would have tried to get rid of you at the start of lockdown.
2) Self Isolating is shit - allow yourself to crash.
3) If they did decide to replace you, there is nothing you can do about it at the moment, so defer worrying about it until next week. With the slow, but steady lifting of lockdown there will be more jobs available.
4) 💐
 

Seenitnowsorted

Well-known member
1) If you have been there the longest you are not shit at your job. That is fact. They would have tried to get rid of you at the start of lockdown.
2) Self Isolating is shit - allow yourself to crash.
3) If they did decide to replace you, there is nothing you can do about it at the moment, so defer worrying about it until next week. With the slow, but steady lifting of lockdown there will be more jobs available.
4) 💐
Thank you - needs to hear this. I’m sat at my home desk with my dressing gown on over my clothes to give myself the hug feeling. Mr S is away with work tonight so just me and daughter so hoping she’s in lessons most of the day. I just need to push through
 

lifestooshort123

Well-known member
Thank you - needs to hear this. I’m sat at my home desk with my dressing gown on over my clothes to give myself the hug feeling. Mr S is away with work tonight so just me and daughter so hoping she’s in lessons most of the day. I just need to push through
I second Buzzcat. Fretting is allowed and it won't change the outcome but you must be valued or you wouldn't be training up newbies. Have a be-kind-to-Seeit-day and think about spring on its way 💐
The spring is sprung
The grass is riz
I wonder where the birdies is.
Day Spring GIF
 

Horses Gallore

Well-known member
I third Buzzcat. If you were shit at your job, you wouldn't be working there. I think we are all feeling it, especially with the news that we are slowly going to be returning to normal. When you are done with work, do something that will make you feel better. Have a bath or shower, eat chocolate, have a drink (doesn't have to be alcohol) watch mindless junk on TV. Take a hot water bottle when you go to bed.
 

Seenitnowsorted

Well-known member
Thank you so much everyone. After this morning’s dread of once again firing up the computer it actually went better this morning than I feared. The job I‘m doing at the moment has a certain element of working blind, trying to work out what exactly is wanted and it has different elements to what I’m used to so I end up thinking that I’m just rubbish at what I do. I was supposed to have had training in another area nearly two years ago now but my replacement has struggled and even now I’m not free to train, although circumstances now mean that once the new lady trains up hopefully I can start my other training. I feel a failure for not being able to train the First Lady, but to be brutally honest she’s not a great fit so it’s been hard, and I don’t think she really enjoys the job either. I know I sound horrible saying all this but it is a downer when I want to progress but I’m constantly held back - even to the point that others have been brought in since to the area I’m due to train in - and speaking to the boss gets me nowhere as in his eyes we all have to pull together (even if I’m the only one pulling!). The last year had been tough - she has openly admitted to me that she has had days where she’s just laid in bed and got someone to move her mouse around as she didn’t feel like working today Whilst not telling the boss that she’s had a day not working, or that she was up late so had a mid morning nap, and we strongly suspect that her 2nd job has been impacting on this jobs hours.......but when I brought up a very diluted version of how she wasn’t doing her job I was asked to take on more work from a third person and told this lady was having a hard time - btw this was 6 weeks after my dad had died suddenly, and it’s only in the last few weeks that the boss has realised what was going on. She’s now on extended leave so hopefully I can use this time to train up and then when she returns I can move on and the new lady stay......fingers crossed.
And please don’t think I’m a bitch for all this, if she had been honest and upfront this last year I might have grumbled to myself but she hasn’t, I’ve just been left with all the workload and she got away with it.

Oh and the hard time she was having........well, let’s just say it caused more eyes to roll than anything.......
 
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